apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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