once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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