Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
