what day is it and did you see me today?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
