what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize