FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
