Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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