its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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