If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
