There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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