it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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