So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
