Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
