Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
