Whod you bang
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
