I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
