just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
