haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
