Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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