I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
