I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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