I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
