It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
