I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize
