The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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