so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
