He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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