Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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