4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
