My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
