Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
