none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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