He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
