I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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