dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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