I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
