Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
