half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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