Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
