perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Shame - the story of my life.
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