i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
