just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
