she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When did angry sex become our thing?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How naked do you want me to be?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
