super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
