I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize