i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
