Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
