She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
