I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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