I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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