She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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