I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She announced her abortion via fbk
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
