I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize