I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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