i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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