i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
