i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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