went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
