Don't you send me to vm
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
