I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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