i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
