is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
